I now see what you mean Allen. I didn't think about it that way. MIL has said that H is wrong for doing what he is doing but I do not know what she is saying to him per se. I want to tell her to let H know, when she talks to him, how much he is hurting his family but for some reason I think she is afraid to speak out. Now don't get me wrong, she has told me that she has talked to her son about what is going on but I don't think she has taken a hard stance against the infidelity.
If no one CHALLENGES him, he's going to assume everyone SUPPORTS him.
If you think like a parent here, its the same design. If your child acts out in some disrespectful way, and no one shuns him or puts him in a time out or in some way dissciplines the child, that child will LEARN their bheaviour is acceptable.
Enabling destructive behaviuor isn't much different conceptually from the concept of positively reinforcing a child's acting out...
His mother is sending an implicit message that she approves of his infidelity and his acting out and hurting his family when she DOES nothing different. She may say "I don't approve", but if that's all she's going to do she may as well shake his hands and tell him "good job".
