To tell you the truth, I don't even know what is going on with him and the OW. I have never met her and I do not speak about her. I am guessing that they are still together but even if they are not, H is probably looking for someone else. This bachelor life is new to H and I think he is enjoying it but it is not right. Their so called business venture went nowhere from what I know. I have not viewed their website since I saw it for the first time. From looking at H facebook statuses occasionally, he does not promote it anymore. This distance between us is working in H's favor.
Not if he is not welcome BACK. My guess is when he DOES return he's welcomed with open arms and everyone is all smiles and tells him he looks good and all that great stuff... WHy would he want to come home if his being away produces such warm welcomes? He's the great family adventurer right now... everyone celebrates his childish behaviour right now.
Don't worry much about OW, the more reality they have to share the more damage they are doing to the affair. Affairs don't survive long term.. it may last a year, or two, but eventually yes he will move on or she will tire of him or one of them will catch the other cheating on the other.
Originally Posted By: ALJ
As for the passive aggressive behavior, I think it has always been this way in our marriage. I just never spoke up about it because my feelings are easily hurt. H did what he wanted and we were not there for each other. I felt that he had a right because I wanted to compensate for the problems that we were having in the marriage. This is a big mess and some days I just want to give up.
Silence just kills a marriage. Blasting each other mercilessly kills it too. So, the solution is for the couple to find a healthy midpoint between distance and yelling.
Some days you will want to give up... But give up what? You have the freedoms he has. You CAN live a life right now without him under your roof.
One thing I might explore and I find a lot of spouses don't point this out enough about their own situations. Many distant spouses pay some sort of support, but I doubt they pay their spouse for them doing all the child rearing while they are off enjoying themselves.
Your husband likley brags to everyone about his being a parent. He likely is very proud of that fact. At the same time, he wants NONE of the responsability. It isn't just YOU he's avoiding, its parental responsabiliy. He has the idea that as long as some money is coming into your home from him, his job is done. Unless he's PAYING YOU for YOUR TIME to pick up HIS SLACK then you are being used.
I think I mentioned this before, but I would start separating finances and start pressing upon him the need for him to contribute more. Right now he's DRAINING household finances by distancing himself, why should your children lose out financialy so HE can have a bachelor pad? That sounds terribly inconsiderate to your kids. I would tell him so.
