Show of hands - expose or not - success stories

[saffie]

Maybe it's not clear from my posts, but he's ready to walk. He's in a deep emotional and physical affair right now and is not in any way, shape or form sorry for it. He feels like he's entitled to it.

I don't see how sharing my inner feelings with him to show him I'm vulnerable will help.

Where's he going to walk to right now? I thought money was a worry and it didn't sound like OW was in a position to finance a love nest.

If he is willing to show you enough respect to negotiate a time to talk then I say give him all the ears he wants, but the way he handled it was why I reccomend you refuse him. Refurse and set an example of how to negotiate a civilized talk. Removing the fuse from your car to force a one-sided spew of lies is not it.

I fully agree that the way passenger's H went about talking to her was wrong, but c'mon - she wasn't giving him a time and place at that point to talk - she had avoided him at lunchtime etc. My gut tells me there is so much more to this- with passenger as well as her H.

As long as he respects you and negotiates then give him an ear. If he starts lying or yelling, then you END it.

Again, I agree. But at the same time passenger, remember what you have said about you yelling at him in the past. It might be good for him to know you regret it.

Your list of reasons was completely WHY I think you need to talk and show him them. You are culpable for some of the damage in this M too. Maybe if you admitted that to him it might just take the wind out of his sails - did with my H.

You need a healthy way to learn to communicate, and in your current position, both time wise and financially, I would have thought trying to put a front on to get him to Retro would be sensible. C'mon - can you afford a family therapist? Stop beating each other up with the Retro thing and agree to go so that you can learn to disagree in a civil manner, (at worst).

Tomorrow is another day and you may both wake up feeling slightly more ameanable. This is bound to be a rollercoaster.