I'm taking off my ring April 9

[AmyBel]

The first call was 6 minutes. The second one was 8 minutes.
I gave her the report on my eye surgery. Twice because she didn't seem to understand. She reported that our car was repaired. I said I'd see her tomorrow at the counselor's. And we could trade cars there, so I could take ours to the internship (instead of taking her dad's car.) There were fairly long silences where she sniffled and I wondered to myself what to say.

She called back from the same phone two minutes later. (I let it ring for a while before I picked up. But decided to pick up.) She was asking me to let her drive me to my internship. Because of my eyes. I reiterated that the doctor said I was fine to drive. She expressed worry about my well being and my eyes and my safety to drive. I said I'd be fine. I said I'd let her know if I needed her help. She said that if there was anything I needed she wanted me to call her. I said that if there was an emergency I'd be sure to let her know. finally I got her off the phone by saying that we could check in about this at the counselor's tomorrow.

I need to tell her today (at the appointment with the counselor) that she is NOT my emergency contact nor my support person while we are dong a trial separation. She will NOT be the first person I call after surgery. She will not hear about my daily life or my well being. I will rely on other people for that. We are doing a trial separation and that means all wife-like activities STOP.

She's clearly struggling. Her dad called me to say "sorry about my crazy daughter." A dear friend of hers and her cousin both shared disbelief and concern for her. I'm worried about her well being and can't do anything bout it. Gotta worry about MY well being right now. This is super-painful! How do people get through this? I'm really tempted to just walk out on everything myself. Clean cut and all that. But I know that's not fair to our 16 years together and the fact that I do still love her. Just can't live with the alien she is being right now...