Flow- it sounds like you're doing great. Good for you for seeing a movie and friend. I'm experiencing some real anxiety for the first time ever- usually my problem is depression. Luckily, the SSRIs or SNRIs often can address anxiety, too- talk to doc about that b/c they need to put you on something that addresses both. Just NOT Wellbutrin- that is bad for anxiety.
As for the suicidal thoughts- well, many of us have had those. You may know about the research or theories on that vis a vis ADs. Some think that the ADs in the first weeks actually kind of "wake up" our brains and as we're feeling a little less lethargic, a little more motivated, on that upswing we consider taking actions (hurting ourselves) that we were too depressed to act on before. Very bad catch-22. But I think they don't know for sure why those thoughts can be connected with ADs. Or, it could just be b/c you're going through a rotten time and just had those thoughts as a result. Anyway, mention to your doc so they're aware. I'm glad you'd never act on them- and as I'm sure you know, it's always good to call someone and not be alone if they come up again.
I feel your dread about Ls. I am not ready to see one yet- it seems too final. If I could feel more like it's giving me strength from information about my sitch than giving in to the D process, it would be better. I hope your appt goes well- keep us posted. When are you seeing doc, btw? The other thing is (not to preach, but I've become somewhat of a patient expert on ADs over the past 12 or so years), please do not just stop taking the prozac- they need to taper you off of it so you won't get yucky side effects. As it's leaving your body, that can happen, but less likely if you taper.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
