Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

I now see what you mean Allen. I didn't think about it that way. MIL has said that H is wrong for doing what he is doing but I do not know what she is saying to him per se. I want to tell her to let H know, when she talks to him, how much he is hurting his family but for some reason I think she is afraid to speak out. Now don't get me wrong, she has told me that she has talked to her son about what is going on but I don't think she has taken a hard stance against the infidelity.

After H left yesterday morning, he sent me a text, telling me where he left his W2's in my house so I know where they are because I need them. I did not answer. Then later on last nite, he sent me a text telling me that he made it home, like he always does. I didn't answer. I usually text back "ok" but I didn't this time. H would usually inquire if I got his "I made it back" text if I don't respond within the hour that he sends it but this time he has texted nothing to me about not responding to it. In my opinion, H knows he is hurting me (him hearing me cry yesterday morning as he was leaving) and he doesn't know how to deal with it. The answer is simple. Stop the affair and come home. He does not want to do that. He has moved to another state that I guess he likes, he has OW with him, and he probably thinks he is in too deep to get out.

To tell you the truth, I don't even know what is going on with him and the OW. I have never met her and I do not speak about her. I am guessing that they are still together but even if they are not, H is probably looking for someone else. This bachelor life is new to H and I think he is enjoying it but it is not right. Their so called business venture went nowhere from what I know. I have not viewed their website since I saw it for the first time. From looking at H facebook statuses occasionally, he does not promote it anymore. This distance between us is working in H's favor.

As for the passive aggressive behavior, I think it has always been this way in our marriage. I just never spoke up about it because my feelings are easily hurt. H did what he wanted and we were not there for each other. I felt that he had a right because I wanted to compensate for the problems that we were having in the marriage. This is a big mess and some days I just want to give up. I have to work on finding a therapist for me. I was seeing a marriage counselor but what good is that when I am going by myself? I don't know if there is a difference between a counselor and a therapist.