Our sitch does not involve anywhere near where yours does, but I will tell you that just in our sitch, my wife's anger lasted a quite a while. It does seem to be going away some now, so we'll see. I also heard the no energy comment from my wife. Again, though, our deal does not involve the tragedy yours does.
My C told me a while back that the emotions of a husband and wife are like a dance. You feed (or possibly retaliate) based on the actions and reactions of your spouse. That's one of the reasons I would recommend you really consider absolute love and kindness toward your wife. She experienced your tragedy also, but the two of you may have dealt with it in different ways. I've read that people grieve differently...some withdraw, some want to be around people for comfort. It's tough.
It also takes some people a lot longer to work through their emotions, and they handle them in different ways.
I hope at some point you can afford professional counseling.
