I suppose I didn't try to resist the convo very much. Had a quick phone convo with W a few minutes ago where she said "sorry" for the long talk last night about sis. I asked her how much was true and she said basically all of it... or at least all the "D" stuff and things about custody, etc. She said she was on her way to lunch with a GF and we would talk later. I said ok, but did break down and send this as a text;
"So i will just say that seeing how you reacted to her situation, doesn't it make you want to make sure we don't end up that way? I know i do but I can't do it alone. I want to sit down and see if we can achieve a goal I now have of quitting the day job by my birthday. I have a lot of ideas. I think that is a step long in coming and it would help across the board with us, the kids, stress, etc, assuming we can make the finances work. We'll talk. Have a good day. Love, H"
I want to drive home the point that it's not lost on me that ALL the marriages we see failing around us, and it's a lot, are failing for exactly the same core reason, or at least according to the women; the men are working too much, never there, etc. I know that's a common issue, especially since many of these marriages have the man as the primary earner and obviously they are going to be gone working a lot but in each of these cases, the men basically made the choice to work more and see their wives/families less (edited: To be more specific, these families, so far as we know, and we think we do, were doing fairly well so they didn't NEED the extra money brought in by extra work. Also, a few of these men are in similar positions to mine, having a primary job and a secondary one taking up 60-80 hours a week and over the years have failed to respond to their wives pleas for them to spend more time at home). I am in a really lucky place in my life in that my business has stayed fairly successful and it really is the time for me to start thinking of working on it full-time. I think I can make a choice that these other men either didn't or couldn't make. Who's to say it will help with my marriage but considering how much credit is given to this being a HUGE factor in these failing marriages we see, I can't see it hurting, ASSUMING I/we can make the financial work. If not, it would do a great amount of harm since money, as with many couples, is a primary source of stress. My wife has asked me to do this for years and maybe it's time I start listening to her
Last edited by grasshopper; 04/07/1003:56 PM. Reason: More clarification
