First things first. He is her father. I know when this started I hated it when my S would talk about his father. I just didn’t want to hear his name at all.
I had to come to terms with it though. I didn’t want him to choose sides between his parents. I also didn’t want to lose my R with my S, I wanted to build it, and the only way to be able to do that was to accept that I would have to be willing to listen to that stuff even though it hurt.
Our children, they are not trying to hurt us. They are trying their best to handle what life has thrown their way, to make sense of it somehow, and to keep a relationship with both of their parents.
If it is really really difficult for you, you may ask your D to stop sharing information, but I think you may then feel excluded from that part of her life.
Find her a new cellphone asap. That way, your actual contact with him is minimized.
However, you also have to understand that she is only 13. Many many things are going to come up over the next few years that you are going to have to speak to him about even if you don’t want to. So I would talk to him if it is about her.
Then make some plans for you while they are together. Start GAL, and you may find that you aren’t quite so sad when his name is mentioned. It all takes time.
As far as waiting to see him, that is up to you. If you wait to see him, you have to do it with no expectations. Just because you look happy and pretty once or even a million times, he may not act any differently. That is just the nature of MLC.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
