Invinceable

[mishka422]

Please do spell it out because I'm starting to spiral and really need some help focusing here guys.

I did something totally stupid last night. REALLY STUPID and if I don't come to grips with it I know I will slip back into the pit.

I asked Gabe if he had seen "The Hangover". He said he hadn't and I told him I had it if he wanted to watch it (thinking he would watch it when I went to bed since he stays up really late). He asked if I wanted to hang out and watch it with him so I said ok since I needed a good laugh. The movie was more than half over and I stretch my legs out sideways on the couch which put my feet within reach of him. He reached out and started massaging them. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but Gabe has magic hands and should have been a masseuse. It felt so good since I'd been on my feet all day that I let him. Folks, it got a little carried away and led to ML like wild animals....twice. Ok, ML is a loose term. More like wild sex. A booty call. Good GOD WTH HAVE I DONE??? He asked me this morning if I regretted it and I told him no, it was fun. The problem is that I'm afraid that I might let my emotions get tangled up in this because I'm a GIRL! (Shocking, I know....)

So, any ideas on how to make sure that I keep last night's occurence from weighing on my psyche? I know I have to keep my distance as much as possible and I'm SO looking forward to my mom coming home to be a buffer. I'm scared. I can't go back to that pit of depression where I lived for so long.