You may have an advantage because your H is feeling insecure about the institution of marriage now. He's failed at it (in his mind) and what is the real purpose of dating? To find someone you trust and can be there for, and hopefully they will do the same for you.
I can see how some men are very, very selfish after a D. Especially when he is your basic nice guy, which this one sounds like since you are like frineds now.
Your H now has this huge "falure" in his mind to work through.
And men are NOT good at figuring this stuff out.
I think you could do something wonderful for him--admit YOUR shortcomings and how YOU contributed to this in an honest and "friend-like" way. You will give him hope for a future. And....he may look at you again. He may not--it's the chance you will take--but you admitting your faults without blame and with genuine regret (without any "neediness" either) will be attractive.
(Combine it with some healthy optimism and inner strength that you have worked hard for) Use the phrase "it will all work out". That phrase is a FAVORITE of men--look how many movies use that phrase!
"Help" him figure out what went wrong, and he may see that it can be "fixed". Don't offer ANY solutions to fix it though. Just put the facts out there (yours) with NO BLAME and let him see how the downward spiral began.
When you joke and talk, add a little bit of flirting. Men love a flirt.
