I'm really ready to get on with my new life. I'm worried about the kids though.
I feel so bad for parents going through something like this; I can only imagine how hard it must be. But you're a good dad, Awoken. You've loved, supported and carried them through a heck of a lot so far already. You can do this.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
I just finshed reading through the past 5 pages and I am so sorry my friend.
I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted however I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see the reflection...You did the best you could with what was on your plate.
I don't post much anymore because quite frankly I am a bit disturbed at the turn the board has taken...More about kissing a$$ and being a doormat in each forum then about focusing on becoming a better person...
It took me 14 months to realize I was worth so much more then a crappy spouse who cheated on me...
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
People willing to accept teeny tiny crumbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe their marriage will survive - What they don't realize is that is just the beginning...
Piecing if you are lucky is hard work and a lot of the people here haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to why all this happened in the first place. (and no I am not buying into the MLC, PTSD, OCD, PMS, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Bi-Polar etc... - These are all excuses for extremely bad behavior - Every one of these spouses has full mental capacity therefore able to make rationale decisions) ...
I see so very few people actually make it and I am starting to see a lot of "newcomers" who have been here before - That speaks volumes to me...
You deserve better my friend - we all do and I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
(((((Hugs)))))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I just finshed reading through the past 5 pages and I am so sorry my friend.
I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted however I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see the reflection...You did the best you could with what was on your plate.
I don't post much anymore because quite frankly I am a bit disturbed at the turn the board has taken...More about kissing a$$ and being a doormat in each forum then about focusing on becoming a better person...
It took me 14 months to realize I was worth so much more then a crappy spouse who cheated on me...
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
People willing to accept teeny tiny crumbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe their marriage will survive - What they don't realize is that is just the beginning...
Piecing if you are lucky is hard work and a lot of the people here haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to why all this happened in the first place. (and no I am not buying into the MLC, PTSD, OCD, PMS, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Bi-Polar etc... - These are all excuses for extremely bad behavior - Every one of these spouses has full mental capacity therefore able to make rationale decisions) ...
I see so very few people actually make it and I am starting to see a lot of "newcomers" who have been here before - That speaks volumes to me...
You deserve better my friend - we all do and I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
Sorry to say it, but good riddance! it would be extremely difficult to rebuild trust with someone who had been secretly plotting and setting up their new life for a year under your nose and had even gone and ingratiated herself in with the new "family." Yuck. The OMW is a piece of work too. Sounds good you got this off your chest already. I agree don't involve the parents. What's the point? It was fine that you called OMW. SHe had the right to know if she didn't as it could very well have impacted her custody issues. Who knew she was happy to dump the H? Sounds like a real winning guy....
I just finshed reading through the past 5 pages and I am so sorry my friend.
I am sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted however I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and truly see the reflection...You did the best you could with what was on your plate.
I don't post much anymore because quite frankly I am a bit disturbed at the turn the board has taken...More about kissing a$$ and being a doormat in each forum then about focusing on becoming a better person...
It took me 14 months to realize I was worth so much more then a crappy spouse who cheated on me...
Fear held me back...I was willing to keep my H around because I feared the unknown and I see so many people here doing that, that it infuriates me...
People willing to accept teeny tiny crumbs in the hopes that maybe just maybe their marriage will survive - What they don't realize is that is just the beginning...
Piecing if you are lucky is hard work and a lot of the people here haven't even begun to scratch the surface as to why all this happened in the first place. (and no I am not buying into the MLC, PTSD, OCD, PMS, Alcoholic, Drug Addict, Bi-Polar etc... - These are all excuses for extremely bad behavior - Every one of these spouses has full mental capacity therefore able to make rationale decisions) ...
I see so very few people actually make it and I am starting to see a lot of "newcomers" who have been here before - That speaks volumes to me...
You deserve better my friend - we all do and I will keep you and your children in my prayers.
I'm hanging in here. Overall, I feel just like the first week of the bomb: trouble sleeping, eating, in a panic. I'm working hard to get on top of it. I Pulled the book "Learned Optimism" back out and started reading. I'm trying to not view this as a catastrophe, after all nothing has really changed.
Acceptance is hard.
One good thing is that no matter what, I'm working on myself and I'll be a better Awoken once this is all done. It's almost like my life has been on hold for the past 17 years, and I just didn't realize it. It's painful to honestly look at my own faults, and I'm sure that's why so many avoid doing it. A situation like this certainly puts the spotlight right on them. However, I'm in charge of me! (this little speech is really just for me!)
Talked to my lawyer again today. W's lawyer says they will complete a counter-offer once W gets back in town. W told him that she was NOT involved in an affair. Doesn't make sense for her to lie to her own lawyer. She may think I don't have any actual evidence. I do regret that it's come to this.
Yes, I will keep in mind that this an adversarial process and keep my cards close to my chest. My ultimate goal is to keep things as calm as possible, and do the right thing for my kids. I have to keep my emotions in check. No matter what, I will have some kind of relationship with my W forever.
Thanks everyone.
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
