Oh, no, not at all, I have absolutely addressed the things I did to get here. I'm still mulling it all over. There's some truth to what he says, but he's blowing it WAY out of proportion. I know that's how he feels - and it's under the influence of the A...
Here are the issues in our M as I see it. 1. Uneven distribution of work and control. I want him to take more, he is afraid of doing it. I therefore take control entirely. I don't like it, resent it, and he resents it. Could never figure out how to stop it. 2. Not enough quality time spent together. This is huge for him, but I've become full time stepmom and no time having fun at all. I'm the "grown up" and he's the child looking for a playmate. (he and OW spend all their time going to bars and drinking-or at least they did until I pointed it out and now he seems to have stopped drinking.) 3. NO communication on either side. My only communication lately was yelling at him. I was SO done with our M the way it was. I definitely pushed him with my yelling. Wish I could take it back now, that's for sure. 4. I was depressed the past year because I was stuck at home while he was going to work on the apt, doing his own thing, and I felt he wasn't spending time with us. Instead of making a pleasant place for him to come home to, I'd be upset about that. 5. I am too high energy, too many irons in the fire. I get passionate about something and it absorbs me and he goes along with the sweep of the tide, and then resents always being so "busy" I have to learn to relax more. 6. He says I'm too needy, need to be with him all the time, but that's communication. Nothing could be further from the truth, I cherish my time alone, and wish I had a ton more time alone. 7. I got pretty fat. I've lost 30 pounds and have another 40 to go. That was not only not attractive to him, but it made me self conscious and pull inside my shell quite a bit.
