Personally, I would just say to MIL and FIL that they needn't hide the fact that they know if your H starts discussing your M with them....and leave it at that.
I would then sit back and watch things unfold a bit.
I know it's hard when you are used to being in control....I felt the same.....but it's a 180, no? Things take time to settle. OW will learn the truth. Yout H will see how difficult it will be to unravel your lives. OW will lose interest. As you and your H learn to get on better your H will forget what he saw in OW, and why he felt the M was so bad.
What worries me is that I don't think you have addressed WHY things got to this state - have you?
He blames you, you blame him...........no-one takes responsibility for their own part.
There is NEVER a good reason for an A. However, when an A happens one does need to look at why the offending party felt the need to look outside the M. Was it to forget your financial situation? Well, if your H knew about it I might have thought so....but it seems he didn't. So what was/were the reason/s?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
