How to approach W about OM

[OfficerInNeed]

I'd keep doing the flowers bit, and maybe some gifts to work. Perhaps 3 times a month if you can afford. Its interesting that the peer group will see your effort and sincerity. I believe over time it can be a "fog clearer", because her peer group will obviously see the guesture and she will have to do her mental magic to make herself think its irrevelent or a manipulation. Over time the reality should start to winning out.

I strongly disagree and "wearing her down" is some men's idea of "winning out". That is why some can't get it through their head's to stop R talks.......or buying gifts. She doesn't like it! She doesn't like the attention it brings at the office and there are always questions from other women and believe you me, she will take it out on her H.

I was not bringing her flowers but rather her father GF who had brain surgery. I learned many weeks ago not to buy gifts fir my W and not to offer to pay for something, it is considered controlling and takes away her sense of independence. I can't remember the last I spoke about our R with my W.

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This morning my W tried to start an argument but I bit my tongue. I had washed clothes which included her work uniform. She made the comment "great my pants sat in the dryer too long, mext time I'll do it myself, get them out myself" and I said nothing and just let it go.