Kalni, it's true. BUt then why do I yearn to call him despite all reason? It's totally reasonable that all he can do is hurt me now and that I need to protect myself. So why does it ache so badly? Why am I consumed with regret at everything I did wrong. Why do I fantasize that somehow I could get the love back that was once there? WHy do I kick myself over and over for al the mistakes that chased H away?
Why can't I stand strong and be mad at him? SEe his faults? See how he hurts me?
