I'm so sorry that your buttons are being pushed - by what he said and by the rings and the anniversary. I don't know the right advice but I do know that you ARE MARRIED - things are different now, but you share your lives once again, he loves and appreciates you and although that was an insensitive thing to "joke" about in bed, you know there are still difficult feelings to sort out. BUt that is marriage and honey you have one don't lose sight of that.
So he doesn't wear the ring. He is by your side every day and you are figuring out your feelings. Don't let that throw you .I literally just don't look at my H's hands any more because I react when I see he has no ring. But look at his actions, not his hands.
I know it doesn't feel like much of a marriage right now, with the bills piling up and with so much hurt still unprocessed. I konw it's not where you ultimately want to be but you will get there. I know there's still so much confusion and feelings - it will take time to sort it out. I'm sure you wonder if it ever will get sorted out. It's been a long hard year for you and I"m sure you want this anniversary to be special after what you wen through. I hope that for you too!
