He has mentioned several times over the past two weeks that he wants to go to marriage counseling with me. First of all, let me say that he didnt come up with the idea on his own... i asked him to go for months now.
Why the sudden change of heart? he is starting to be more normal than not lately and I am not sure how to take it. he said he wants to do something nice for me and after having been selfish for so many years, he wants to do something for me? and he thinks therapy is the answer?
is he just scared to admit that we may be able to benefit from help? or is he trying to get me to counseling to prove we are not meant to be?????
Who cares why he wants to go? Research a therapist who is marriage friendly and trained in couples counselling with a solution oriented approach and go ....
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
but he sys that its not because he feels like he could love me anymore... its just because he wanted to be nice and knew i wanted to go... what if he wants to go to just have a psych tell me he doesnt have any intentions of fixing things between us.
WA, I dont know how to do the whole thread thing...
Babydoll, dont care why he wants to go. HE WANTS TO GO! Take it as an opportunity to show him that you want to work on your marriage. An opportunity to work things out and have things put out on the table.
For things to be discussed and worked out. PEImom said find a marriage friendly solution oriented C who is positive that you can work out your problems do just that.
Do not worry about his motives. All I can think is that he is going to see that your M is worth saving also and he will have his eyes and heart opened to R.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
Agreed, you make the decision on which therapist, not him.
Don't balk on the idea, hold him up to it now, otherwise you may end up recencilling, issues resurface, as they most certainly will, create conflict, and THEN he won't be so willing to go.
Last edited by dday101798; 04/07/1008:38 PM. Reason: I love to edit?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
i botched it. we are back to fighting. i dont think he was sincere about going. just trying to shut me up and prove a point to say to the baby someday, we tried.
im so tired of trying to figure out his issue! is it a mental breakdown, MLC, OW, im sick of the entire situation.
These posters are right...it doesn't matter what his motives are for therapy, take advantage of getting him to a pro marriage therapist or call our office, where all of our coaches are not only pro marriage, but are highly skilled and trained by Michele in DB techniques. Each of you could talk to a coach separately or together, which we would discuss when you call. Take care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
Hi Babydoll - I just started posting today. My H had a lawyer send me a letter a few days ago saying he wanted to end our marriage. It has been bad for a while, but I thought we'd get settled in to this new house (moved 2 months ago) and find a counselor (though we've been to a couple others) and somehow repair our connection.
I don't know what to expect. I started a thread in LRT but it doens't seem too active over there. I have been crying all day, which seems to make him happy. I just can't stand it. All of his emotions seem backwards right now. He's fine with DD5 and totally weird with me.
Don't know if you can relate to any of this. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
