I think work will help her (and you) a lot. Unlike going to an English class, she will be 'forced' to go there and it will give her social interaction. She might start taking care of her appearance more. Getting paid will give her a boost in her self-esteem. While she is at work, her focus will be away from family issues.

No one can control how your W may or may not become though. She might learn to speak a good level of English, she might become adjusted, she might regain her self-esteem, or she might not. It's for her to choose (and even if we choose to better ourselves, sometimes it doesn't happen so easily), no one should judge what is right or what she should do to what level. All we can do is to have some hope and meanwhile work on ourselves.


Perhaps you can try to ditch ALL that you expect from her?
-She may never learn to speak more English. I mean, well done to her, there are so many who simply refuse to learn and adjust even if they chose to migrate!
-she may 'look the same' always... what if something happens and we can't keep looking the way we are? Do we want our spouse to be with us no matter what happens to us physically?
-she may never regain her self-esteem

Keep chipping away at what you need to do to work on yourself... porn addiction, lowering expectation towards others, trying to be in their shoes (respect). I have to work on myself with these as well (sans porn smile ), it's a life long 'homework', I don't want to grow a bitter old woman!

Some of your issues are typical of intercultural marriage but really, even in the same culture marriage couples come from different cities, religion, up bringing so it's not all about countries... it's about how much you want to know about your spouse. Do you know a lot about Yemen (I thought you said she's from there)? How people think and do things there?
The good side of int. marriage is that it widens your world in a way you have never thought.