Invinceable

[Reincarnated]

I think OT might be hinting that if, IF you had an inclination of reconcilling, there may just be a few signs that he MIGHT be able to turn his life around.
Maybe.

OT...? Can you spell it out?

[mishka422]

Please do spell it out because I'm starting to spiral and really need some help focusing here guys.

I did something totally stupid last night. REALLY STUPID and if I don't come to grips with it I know I will slip back into the pit.

I asked Gabe if he had seen "The Hangover". He said he hadn't and I told him I had it if he wanted to watch it (thinking he would watch it when I went to bed since he stays up really late). He asked if I wanted to hang out and watch it with him so I said ok since I needed a good laugh. The movie was more than half over and I stretch my legs out sideways on the couch which put my feet within reach of him. He reached out and started massaging them. I don't think I ever mentioned it, but Gabe has magic hands and should have been a masseuse. It felt so good since I'd been on my feet all day that I let him. Folks, it got a little carried away and led to ML like wild animals....twice. Ok, ML is a loose term. More like wild sex. A booty call. Good GOD WTH HAVE I DONE??? He asked me this morning if I regretted it and I told him no, it was fun. The problem is that I'm afraid that I might let my emotions get tangled up in this because I'm a GIRL! (Shocking, I know....)

So, any ideas on how to make sure that I keep last night's occurence from weighing on my psyche? I know I have to keep my distance as much as possible and I'm SO looking forward to my mom coming home to be a buffer. I'm scared. I can't go back to that pit of depression where I lived for so long.

[kat727]

Just a quick note to let you know that I am here and read your update. I am thinking! Don't beat yourself up, maybe it was a booty call for you and nothing more. Get back to you soon.

kat

[Virtually_Handsome]

What kat said. I'm in no condition to think right now, but don't beat yourself up.

[BobbiJo]

O M G---And for the record, I NEVER say that. I hate text-lingo!

Wow...whoda thunk it? The ladies on the board are finally getting some action! (except me!)

But seriously, I don't know....I suppose you just need to tell yourself it was fun, at least it sounds like it was fun, and maybe release some tension for you? If you try to frame it as that and nothing more, just a good time...however before you have a repeat you need to be sure you could handle it if it doesn't lead anywhere.

And not to be a mom but did you guys use protection? Just askin'....

[ernest88]

here I try and break away from this place and you and BBJ continually make it hard on me..LOL

just kidding..

Hmmm...interesting....

well..I have questions..

1. You even want to attempt to reconcile with him??

2. Do you even want to attempt to go back to what you had before?? Because simply put.IMO..I don't think old dogs can learn new tricks.. I think he'll cheat as soon as he can..

I would tell him you got carried away...you used him for sex..and felt nothing...the sex was good...and I'd leave it at that...I'd also ask him when he was moving out..( forgive me, I have not read up on your sitch so I don't know where all that stands) Hope you used protection of some sort..

I guess you could have a F*** buddy relationship...both parties have to have their minds right for that....

[bright_new_day]

OMG!!!!! Seriously.....OMG!!!
I could not even imagine....but I can't imagine any scenario that would put me in that situation because my X has never even been civil to me, much less friendly! LOL I would definitely let him know that it was an animal reaction and you don't need an encore performance!

[MichelleLT]

Deep breath.

Don't let yourself get to beating yourself up about it.

Let yourself enjoy what was. Try not to let yourself have any expectations of you or him.

I sympathize with the magic hands bit. Roger was working on my shoulders while we were watching a movie the first time we ML. And a lot of times since LOL.

[oldtimer]

Don't do anything right now. Settle. Relax. Don't make any decisions. You haven't had any space to think.

[Virtually_Handsome]

Still not ready to say a lot... but I think you should let this give your self image a little boost. Gabe chose to do what you guys did (whatever we choose to call it), and he didn't have to. No one was forcing him, and he chose you, mish!