also Frank you can CHOSE not to be led into her drama
let her rage while you are detached and calm
I regret allowing my ex to tell the boys things when I wasn't there
they are well aware that I love them they were also well aware that I wasn't there for the talk
now that they are older, they tell me the things he said and the things her did and I hate myself for not being there
they didn't tell me all the lies because they didn't want to hurt me and it doesn't mean that they didn't know he was lying at the time
it just means that they were concerned about protecting me which is NOT their job
my job is to protect them, not the other way around
and
by letting my sociopathic ex have any alone time wit them at all i put them in the position where they had to censor what they told me so I wouldn't get hurt
