It really was just a thoughtless grasp.. I don't know how much you can read from that.
I think you both are focussing WAY too much on Retro and are putting too much pressure on yourselves for that retro program to help you... its just counterproductive. If you build something up this much before it starts it will always end up in dissappointment.
Infidelity is control, its all Lies. Lies are control. An attempt to CURB what kind of behaviuor YOU will do by RESTRICTING how much INFORMATION you have.
People LIE to produce misinformed behaviour in the people they lie to. He's been controlling you the whole affair.. or trying to... when YOU expose you put a STOP to that control and tell him "I KNOW... I am making FULLY INFORMED DECISIONS NOW"... it turns the tables and SHOCKS them
You can't trust him an inch right now.. do NOT think the affair is over, even if OW dumps him, he has at least 6 - 12 weeks of withdrawal coming his way... and he is addicted until the withdrawal is OVER
