Eric, DG, SA & TF - as always, I treasure your encouragement and advice. Thank you
SA - Complete transparency is a must for me. So far I didn't demand anything, since I didn't agree to take him back yet. I acknowledged that he has to deal with the "grief" of breaking up with OW. I told him that I understand that it will take time. I'd also said that he needs to work it all out before he can move back in. In saying that I guess I gave him a "permission" to find closure. I assume that they may still talk. I'm sure that he will talk to her to find out if her H took her back and such. As I'd already mentioned, when I asked him if they talked since splitting up, he said once.
They probably will need to talk about moving her web site. Or I can suggest that I will write a business letter terminating our services and offering to assist her with transferring it to a new provider. And have our IT guy deal with it. That way WH doesn't have to be involved. Have to talk to him about that.
I asked him today if he talked to her yesterday and he said that he didn't. Do I believe him? Not really. I'd like to, but I will never know if he is telling me the truth. I guess that will get better as we open-up to each other more and reconnect and when I see how caring and loving he is. I think that's how I will know when to trust him.
After his 1st affair 20 years ago, we were able to rebuild trust completely. It took a while, but I did it. I remember that it took me about 3 years before I stopped having nightmares about the two of them being back together.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
