Messed up

[jt2007]

Cat thanks for your post

This helps me think about where im at and what questions I do need to ask to become productive in all this.

To not go back but forward (can be a scary thing...comfort zones are not in the options here)
Perspectives are starting to twist and turn in my head...I think I might be learning something new here.

JT,

I too hate when people are mad at me.

I learned though, that if it means sacraficing myself in some way, it isn’t worth it.

It is better to let them stew, especially since more often than not, they are not actually angry with you, but angry with other things and taking it out on you.

I want you to understand, I am not supporting your M right now, I am trying to support you, in your growth and healing through all of this.

For a few reasons, the main one being that it is the first step.

The first step to what I don’t know. Maybe the restoration of your M, maybe a future new R, maybe just you being able to really stand on your own.

Those answers will come to you as time passes. As you clear your head and learn to understand your own feelings.

What your H said about OW being your fault…

That is total BS. Don’t you dare buy into it. Are there things you could have done differently? Sure, we all could have done things differently.

But we are not responsible in any way for another person’s behaviors (unless you held a gun to his head and forced him to do this).

This is not going to be anything that you get through quickly, no matter how you interact with him.

I don’t know that his “come to Jesus” moment is going to happen any time soon if ever. But you shouldn’t let that stop you from having yours.