Invinceable

[mishka422]

No definite plan on the move out yet. I plan on talking to him about it tomorrow night.

I was planting some flowers around the mailbox today when he returned with Marc from fishing. He came and started to help me turn the dirt and then I told him I like to plant the flowers myself since it relaxes me. He stepped away but commented, "Fine, see if I offer to help you again." but in a sarcastic, joking tone. I told him I appreciated his offer of further help but I really did want to do it myself. He went in the house. I finished up and was putting the trash in the bin and as I came around the side of the house he was in the garage and surprised me. I laughed and smiled and he suddenly reached out and hugged me. That made it that much harder on me to separate my personal feelings from this business arrangement. UGH! I don't know how I'm going to handle this for much longer. It's stirring up far too many emotions that I have been burying and exorcising from my existence. I don't want these feelings anymore. I don't want to feel anything anymore. Not just about him, about anything. I have done a pretty good job of that and it's evened my days out pretty well but him being here is stirring things up too much.

WTH am I going to do now?