Moving on with my life #2

[Reincarnated]

I love the idea of going on a cruise - screw the man part! Maybe there's a singles' cruise...

[25yearsmlc]

S2 pardon the analogy okay, but my dog had puppies 9 weeks ago. They're cute as heck. But my dog the mother, wanted to wean and NEEDED to wean b/c her nipples were purple and...you get the picture....AND the pups DID have full sets of teeth so I called the vet and SHE asked, "the pups like the solid food? And they have all their teeth? AND your mother dog does NOT want to nurse anymore? What's the question??" And then she said I had to keep the pups and the mother apart for 48 hours completely apart....not so easy but it did help. She's a lot happier now that she doesn't flee them when she sees them, they PLAY now.......of course she had EIGHT pups- but you get the point. DETACH?? I guess....for a little while
j-

[Startingover2]

I have nobody to leave her with that long nor do I really think that would be for baby and I. I think the doctor was pretty much joking when he said it

Somehow, someway we will get it done.

[Startingover2]

Been sort of status quo here lately. The weather has been beautiful so we have been out and about alot. Gone in the pool every afternoon this week! The nicer weather makes me in a much better mood, plus I can find more things to do.

Exh has been about the same too. He sent a text saying he sliced his stomach open at work and was at the ER. Of course I lose it and ask a million questions..how? who is with him? is he ok? I probably should have said ok, but I was concerned. Then he said he was just messing with me (payback of an April Fool's joke I did) but did cut his stomach open. He came by as he had his out of town nephew with him and he wanted to show him baby. I saw his stomach...It was a fricking scratch! Maybe a bit more and did look sore. He was moaning and groaning like a little girl! It was good to see the nephew. Haven't seen him since he was little.

Then about an hour later Exh sends a text saying he has my cs check..do I want it now? Well, banks were closed anyway so I said "no, tomorrow is fine. Thank you." So, I put baby in the bath a bit later and all of a sudden exh walks in the bathroom! Scared the bejeezus out of me. He had my check. Usually he hangs onto it for dear life. He said he knocked but obviously I didn't hear him. He stays for a few minutes and plays with baby and leaves. He knew I was a bit put off by the coming in unannounced.

Dang,just saw the weather...supposed to rain on Sunday and Monday. Probably not alot, but I really do love being out and busy.

[25yearsmlc]

detach at feeding time if you have a mom or son/ daughter who can feed her, thats what I meant. I know you can't leave her with someone for 48 hours.

As for your EX h's stomach "wound" and the personally delivered CS check, and entering your home uninvited somehow...(key?) and his other behaviors... I guess you'll do what's necessary when you're ready for your life to be totally yours.
j-

[S.T. _I Made It!]

hey, if there is someway you can plan a trip with baby and be totally busy...that's how I did both my kids. although I did go with family, and we did the amusement park thing like 6 flags, but the kids are so worn out, and you just keep saying we are too busy, let's do this, kinda thing that it helped.

since she is 2, and she can understand a little bit, talk to her about not nursing during certain times she is used to. and just take one nursing time away for so many days, then take another for the next so many days, and so on. just some ideas, I'm sure you'll do okay, it will be rough for the first 2 weeks for sure, maybe a month.

on your H, you really should tell him to please only come in announced, that's not really right for him to just come in when he pleases, IMHO.

[Startingover2]

HaHa! This is one small town. I went to a bday party for a little friend of baby's. There were a few moms and dads there. I was talking to a couple that I really didn't know super well at the table. The wife asked me if my exh was doing any better..I just said hes ok and sees baby quite a bit lately. The husband chimes in with a sarcastic tone telling me about a woman that he was supposedly having a secret affair with for almost a year that worked at one of the places that he serviced. I guess this woman had a live in boyfriend for the past 12 years and they are now broken up due to this relationship with exh. When they described this woman they said she was really, really large. So not exh's type. I had heard a bit about there being a possible another woman that worked at this place during this week. This guy knew details and was spewing them. I couldn't walk away and admittedly I was curious. What I came away with was how exh has absolutely no boundaries and seems to go for unavailable women and also the way these people were talking about him. They were far from thinking he was some scoring stud! They think he is disgusting and thinking when will this guy stop?!

[Startingover2]

No he doesn't have a key. I live in a small town and very seldom lock my door. Only at night. People think we are crazy here but its what we do.

We go to babys dentist on Tuesday. Not looking forward to that at all. Her insurance will only cover 80% and then most likely will not cover her anesthesia if she needs it as they think its unnecessary. YOU try holding a 2 year old down for fillings etc! My older daughter had the same thing and we fought our insurance company and they paid half. I am worried exh won't want to pay half as he will weasel and say the teeth issue is my fault due to the bf'ing. I cannot afford to pay the whole thing.

I was cold and short with exh last night due to the womanizing information I recieved yesterday. I know its not my problem, it just makes me sick. How many dirty little secrets does this man have? It just blows my mind. I need to come up with a statement that is nonthreatening and non confrontational to let exh know he cannot come and go as he pleases. That we need to get back to our baby business like life. I shouldn't have let it get this far I know.

Today he is supposed to come, but not sure if he will. This afternoon I am shopping to find some storage bins and cute shelves for baby's room. She has a disaster going on in there and want to reorganize!

[25yearsmlc]

we live in "the safest city in the nation" according to local stats. I lock my door and have an alarm system too...

If I had a baby I'd lock my doors too. If I had an ex h like yours--I'd bolt it twice. If my crazy ex also had a nutty MGF AND my ex also drank and drove and showed consistently poor judgement at others' expense AND had boundary issues, well then - I'd say someone who does not lock her doors with all that going on, is not putting her baby first AND also has some serious boundary issues.

Honey, he's such bad news. No more waiting for lightning to strike. How much time have you wasted on waiting for that to happen? It's as if you really believe no one else will want you but him, but if you act that way, you make it a self fulfilling prophecy. Know you deserve better. Raise the bar, don't lower it b/c your EX h will fall to the lowest level of behavior that gets accepted and he does it every time... You can change your life. Not his, YOURS....please. If not now, when?
j-

[Startingover2]

Yes, I know I deserve better and know that I shouldn't engage so much with exh or have anything but 0 hopes for him.

For some reason, for which I don't care exh is now mad at me...my guess is because I called him to the carpet regarding yet another woman and still trying to maintain that he is a changed man. A friend who knows both OW and MGF said that this is what he does...everything is fine until you confront him on something then he acts like YOU did something wrong and turns it on you and stays mad at YOU. Which resulted in his one text yesterday of "give MY daughter a kiss for me". Nevermind that he blew off his visit to go fishing with his nephew.

OMG the guy is so sick. I wish I wasn't so attention starved to blow off his 'good intentions'. Honestly, it feels good to have some company. Wrong yes as I know he isn't the best person for that job.

OH, btw...baby went last night without any night nursing. It was a struggle and she cried off and on all night, but its a start.