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nicole8 Offline OP
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surviving I have been following you and am glad you said what you said above. I do think our sitch is sort of the same. I don't know if you've read all of mine. Currently my H is living at his Mom's house so that he can carry on his relationship with the ow. I don't think it is a PA, but who knows. I think it is more of a puppy dog high school thing. I'm also pretty sure he is stringing me along until he decides what he wants or more the OW decides if she is going to be in a relationship with him.

It is so true that I do deserve more respect. So very true....I am worth more and obviously I can't rely on my H for any happiness right now. My birthday is next week and I am pretty sure he could care less. We will see.

I really need to work on detaching better and I really appreciate your words of encouragement. I think you are also right that you need to let your H run his course all by his big boy self. I'm thinking that is what I need to do with my H also. My H is so on the fence and I think he just wants me to file so it isn't his fault and he isn't the one to blame.


M 35, husband 35
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nicole8 Offline OP
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So I haven't initiated contact with my h for 3 days. Today he texted me early in the am. I was sleeping and didn't wake up to be at his beck and call... well he kept texting, "hello??", "hello??", "are you alive". I finally responded and he wanted to know what I was doing today. I told him I was doing a few different things. He wanted to know if I was going to be heading up to my friends which is by his work. I asked him "why?". Apparently he wanted me to bring his extra pair of glasses to him because his brother broke his and he can't see at work. That really isn't my problem. I told him I couldn't....WTF, is he serious? Does he know that if we are D, I am not going to do favors for him? Really, cannot believe him. I wonder if he would be willing to do a favor for me?

Last edited by nicole8; 04/05/10 01:57 AM.

M 35, husband 35
M 10
Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count
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nicole8 Offline OP
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Also, on Thursday I found out that my good friend is pregnant with her first child. She and her h are good friends of mine and my h. They left a message on my h's phone that they had some exciting news....do you think he has called them back? NO! How rude is that. I told them to not take it personally. They of course know the situation.

It is so true that the only thing he cares about right now is himself.


M 35, husband 35
M 10
Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count
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nicole8 Offline OP
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Yep my patience and mood are at an all time low....I am so annoyed and just irritated and feel completely hopeless that my h will stop being a high schooler. ahhhh, he texted me yesterday wanting to know what i was thinking? Really, thinking about what? Apparently he wanted to know what I was thinking about "us". Seriously I am just annoyed with him . I think he just wanted to make sure I am still in the "game" and he can come home if it doesn't work out in high school.


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With the weather being so nice in the NE- we really should be in better spirits!! no?? but I too feel very irritable and annoyed as well.

Don't do or say anything you may regret right now. Just try to let the feelings pass.

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Stay mostly dark and noncommital for a few weeks. And keep not doing favors. I think it could only help at this point. It's curious that when you disappear he looks up from the high schooler sitch.

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nicole8 Offline OP
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The weather here in the rainy pacific northwest is well....rainy. Kind of fits my mood lately. I have actually been disgusted to see the sun the last couple of times it has poked its head out for a few seconds. Normally, I LOVE the sun, just not at this time in my life.

I'm making a change for the better starting with my birthday Thursday. Getting my hair done after work. I can't wait it really needs to be done and I always feel so great afterwards. Not really relying on the h to even remember it is my birthday. We'll see though. Then a massage on Friday, yahoo can't wait. Thinking I will join a gym on Saturday and look into some classes.

Still staying dark with the h. I just don't really have anything to even say to him. It is weird, but it feels so hard to even talk with him on the phone now. I just feel like he is shut down and doesn't even really want to converse with me. Getting really tired of this. So very tired.


M 35, husband 35
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That is why it is so important to GAL. You will feel a lot better after your birthday things. When you are out and about having fun and living your life without worrying about H, it rejuvenates you so that when H does contact you, you can be upbeat and happy although you don't really feel that way.

Hope you have a great b-day!


Me29 S3
H left 4/1/09
I file 8/2/10
Divorce final 5/17/11
1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52
2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg
3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
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Nicole, keep your head up. GAL it up!!


I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.

Like:
D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30

"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
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Nichole8, I don't have any advice to offer but I can relate to how you feel. I am in the south east and the days are getting longer. Its hard to hibernate in my apartment when its still daylight and 90 degrees outside. I much prefer cold and dark when I am in a low mood. Somehow, when the sun contradict my state of mind, it makes me feel worse.


Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids
Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation
Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled
Moved back home May 2010
PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
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