Agreed Kalni. All of those things are painful reminders for me of what went so horribly wrong. I had a hard time making it through the anniversary of all of them. But knowing that we were actively working through things and BF's patience helped a lot.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
RW, Thinking of you as I just had my "bombaversary on March 14. You are in a much better place now & so am I. Still not easy. I just acknowledged it to myself but kept busy so as not to dwell on it.
Your plan sounds good, just another day. Glad to see you continuing to progress! Sending support & hugs.
How are you doing? Happy bombaversary to us all - we survived it!!! No, we overcame it!!! Drinks all around.
I still haven't made it to the alt
I was in the alt once and I found it was a real time stealer. I would just be there for hours and everything else would fall by the wayside. Honestly, I am kinda scared to get back there...Mulling it over. I would seriously need to discipline myself.
Thanks to everyone checking on me and encouraging me.
Doing well.
Guess what? I didn't cry today. Not once.
That may sound odd, but seriously ... I usually shed a few tears or sometimes even have a good cry at least once every day since....oh, probably June when things started getting really bad. I don't know if I am unusual with that, but it is just the truth. And, you need to know I am not an overly emotional person, nor am I someone who typically shows a lot of emotion. The tears normally would happen when I am alone (driving, in the shower, first thing in the morning while H still snoring etc). So, I have been waiting for my first "tear free day" to celebrate! Woohoo! It finally arrived.
My IC has reassured me this is a normal response to grief and trauma, so that has made me feel better.
We had another good family day today. Another drive/hike in the hills with kids and dogs.
On a day like today, I think we are going to make it.
Woohoo...no tears. I was happy when I had my first tear free day too. Driving, in bed with sleeping H and walking the dog alone still seem to be when I still get teary the most.
You know, I only cried twice during the whole bad part of the sitch. And I normally cry at the drop of a hat. But when we started piecing I was a waterworks for the first six months. Now it rarely happens and I'm so relieved!
How are the books coming? (Not so subtle reminder...)
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
RW, what I like about reading your thread is hearing about the internal changes that you are going through as you relax into a changed relationship
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Pearl, I have started Not Just Friends. The first few chapters had a lot of triggers for me in telling the story of the one couple. I had to go slow, put it down a lot. But, I can see how it is very full of good info and I will find it helpful.
I have to be careful not to let my kids see what I am reading. I keep these books hidden and read when I know I will have some privacy for a bit. Makes it hard.
Your IC is right. It's a completely natural response to trauma. But today is a special day if the tears stayed back. Don't downplay that - it's huge. It's a step in your healing that you should feel proud of.
