Which brings me back to the answer for this thread: you cannot "fix" something that the other partner does not want to or will not let you fix. Period.
The can only be changed if something or greater risk is brought forward so that "fixing" the original problem becomes preferable.
The Captain
Yep, that's the boat I'm in. And I don't have anything of "greater risk" to bring forward to convince him to fix. He will have to decide that for himself.
Originally Posted By: Young at Heart
This is why (in my opinion) a good change agent (for an SSM, say a board certified sex therapist) is so helpful in making sure that the person who doesn't want to change understands the full ramifications of what change and not changing really mean. Good luck to you in your journey.
Not sure who you think doesn't want to change- in my case, the person who needs the change as far as SSM is concerned is mainly me, but as I said, he will not let me do anything about it anymore. I now understand the ramifications of not changing, but as he says, "it's too late".
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
