Thank you for your post on my thread. I am trying to be a quick learner, and I know that what I am learning I must develop into habits.
I am VERY thankful that for the most part my wife has been willing to see me and talk to me once in a while. After the last couple of weeks, I have learned that in my case she will bring up R talk when she is ready. I'm a guy, I want to talk about it now and fix it. My counselor and my pastor both preach patience to me every time they see me.
It's quite possible that your wife is not ready to have a R talk with you yet because she doesn't trust that you'll listen. In her heart and mind, she believes it will do her no good. I hope you get the opportunity to start swaying that the other way.
This probably falls under the category of pursuing, but I wrote my wife a SHORT note on a nice, blank card a few weeks ago. It was NOT a note where I just said I'm sorry a bunch of times. It was a note that let her know I was beginning to UNDERSTAND where she was coming from. I let her know that if I were in her shoes, I would be feeling the way she is.
My C has shown me that "I'm sorry" can be pretty void when your wife is holding onto resentments....many of which you may not really be aware of. She thinks and believes that she has told you many times and that you have not listened to her.
There is hope for both of our M my friend! I also don't subscribe to the theory that every WAW has an affair. I'm sure it crosses their mind, but one thing I have personally decided to do is trust my W until I'm given reason otherwise.
