The thing is, exposure CAN pressure the WS to reconsider their options, that's why I reccomend it.
Unfortunately this just pushes them enough to explore BOTH the affair AND the marriage... it isn't enough pressure to push them to sign off on the third party... there's no incentive to end the affair, unless there is considerable pressure from the exposure.
You may get him to give you a second glance, but the affair is addictive, it requries a LOT of pressure to get them to put a stop to it.
Most of us regret not exposing sooner, its a huge push forward to ending the affair... most of us are hesitant to expose for fear of driving our spouses away.. it too me months before I did it.
You will have to gauge when you are ready to pressure him to stop but don't wait too long. Over time your health begins to fail and your respect for him as well.. and he becomes increasingly emotionally addicted to his affair too.
Its hard to find a GOOD FT. Its best to have a good list of questions. Interview them like they are giong to be working for you... becuase they ARE! FOr whatever reason professionals don't seem to think they need to be interviewed, they just offer you their services and expect you to trust them.
Don't trust them.
They can do mroe damage than they can help more often than not. Quiz them on how they handle infidelity cases, whom they have read (see if they can even name ONE infidelity expert or reference ONE BOOK on infidelity.. if they can't... LOSE THEM). Scan the office to see what books they have there. Ask tehm what their plan of attack would be... Ask them if they WOULD addres the affair before any work on the marriage, etc
You basically KNOW the plan you want them to go at... you just need to be sure they are with your program or not. YOu just want their professionalism and their third party visibility...
Most people will respond much faster to a FT than to their spouse on these matters.
A GOOD FT can spot a liar quickly... if they can't tell he's lying to them tehn they aren't very good at their job. Infidelity is an addiction and they shoudl be ready for a LOT of tall tales coming from him...
