What do you mean J? doing taxes and washing cars is fun, no? lol
We did cover her b.day issue already lol but I just realized that DD will be with me not only that day but the day after. She could say HBD to her on the phone but I'm sure DD would want to do more, she loves the b.day stuff...you know blowing out the candles, singing, licking the icing off the candles etc. If I invite W over so we can cut the cake together that seems too much and DD will want mommy to stay maybe I'm over thinking this but yeah it's not that straight forward from my view.
Money wise, I don't think she's paying any rent for now...maybe that's changed. I was thinking of sending her an email saying 'Hi, I'll start paying all the utilities bills for my place from now on and as such I won't be writing you the monthly check. However, if you need money for your expenses just ask'. Yes, no?
I don't have IC...what for? it's not me that needs one LOL! j/k Yeah it's just too bad that DD can't be with both of us at the same time.
Last night I didn't get to talk to DD, W texted me saying "DD went to sleep early today, sorry. She'd been up late last night and I rushed to get her to bed 2nite" I just replied "ok, thanks".
Anyway, at work lots of things to catch up on here...don't even feel motivated lately.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
What do you mean J? doing taxes and washing cars is fun, no? lol
We did cover her b.day issue already lol but I just realized that DD will be with me not only that day but the day after. She could say HBD to her on the phone but I'm sure DD would want to do more, she loves the b.day stuff...you know blowing out the candles, singing, licking the icing off the candles etc. If I invite W over so we can cut the cake together that seems too much and DD will want mommy to stay maybe I'm over thinking this but yeah it's not that straight forward from my view.
Well, that's a tough one. You could try putting it in W's court- "DD would like to celebrate your b-day with you and I think it would be nice if she saw us both there for a cake or something. Is there a particular time/location that works for you?" You could always do a neutral location like a restaurant...
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I don't have IC...what for? it's not me that needs one LOL! j/k Yeah it's just too bad that DD can't be with both of us at the same time.
Actually, I think ALL of us could use someone to talk to these days, whether we need "help" or not
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Last night I didn't get to talk to DD, W texted me saying "DD went to sleep early today, sorry. She'd been up late last night and I rushed to get her to bed 2nite" I just replied "ok, thanks".
Anyway, at work lots of things to catch up on here...don't even feel motivated lately.
That sucks, but your response is good- very unattached and unemotional. I know what you mean about work and motivation. Ugh.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Well, that's a tough one. You could try putting it in W's court- "DD would like to celebrate your b-day with you and I think it would be nice if she saw us both there for a cake or something. Is there a particular time/location that works for you?" You could always do a neutral location like a restaurant...
I like that, thanks. Maybe I should add that DD can stay with her in case DD wants to? I don't know, in a way DD needs to learn that we have a set schedule but she's little and whatif she really wants to stay with mom on her b-day? Plus it'd be a nice gesture for W to have DD on her b-day? I don't know...maybe she has her own private plans for her b-day.
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Actually, I think ALL of us could use someone to talk to these days, whether we need "help" or not
That's what the cats are for...although lately they just lick themselves and leave the room while I'm trying to have a serious conversation with them about important marital issues lol
No seriously, that's why I come here. In my limited experience the ICs have always swayed us towards D, even the so-called 'family couselors'.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 04/05/1009:17 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
how about ask D whether she'd like to be with her mom that night. If so, use my suggestion plus "and D would really like to stay with you that night, so can we swap nights? I'll probably want to do the same on my b-day, too"
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Had DD yesterday, I picked her up from school...the first thing she asks me 'daddy, did you get a treat for me?'. I did. I asked her if she went to bed early the previous night because I missed talking to her, she said 'no, and I didn't miss you' LOL. I was like 'reaaaally? I missed you a lot' she said 'nope, I only miss mommy' haha wow...I had to change the topic. So we went to Target and ended up getting a bunch of stuff. Got a few new shirts, skirts and shoes for DD too. I hate to admit it because I don't want to believe it but I think all this craziness is affecting my health. Yesterday I got dizzy a couple of times getting up off the floor as I was helping DD try on the new shoes at the store. Maybe fatigue, lack of sleep and low appetite...
Anyway, we got home, made DD a grilled chicken sandwich from the chicken I grilled on Sat. Made myself a turkey sandwich. Then cut up some apples/bannas/pineapple/peaches for dessert. Then it was time for bed.
Dropped DD off at school this morning...car's computer was saying 'check coolant' ugh! I need to get a new car, I can't be bothered with stuff like this these days. Normally I wouldn't care but with my life the way it is these days I don't need any more issues to worry about.
Trying to find the motivation to get work done...my boss keeps throwing more stuff at me and I'm finding it hard to go to the meetings and do a good job of running these projects.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Be careful of that stress. In November I ended up in the hospital w/a pulse of 285! I had a heart arrythmia (sp?), and had to have a cardiac ablation. NOT FUN!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Well she just sent me this email. Obviously she has no plans of coming back...anytime soon anyway.
"Hi,
Can you change the utilities into your name? They are still coming out of my accounts so I just cancelled auto-pay on them. Here are the numbers for them and I'm attaching three bills upcoming so you can mail them out."
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
And it could be as simple as she doesn't have the money right now and it makes more sense for it to be in your name. Or, she could be doing things similar to what I suspect my H is dong, which is on the surface, separating things out as much as possible and talking about it, to make it *feel* like they're moving forward, but it may not mean much underneath--
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
J, I know it crossed my mind too but if she didn't have the money she could've said so 'sorry, I can't pay these bills right now, can yout put them in your name?' or something.
Anyway, I'm sitting here wondering if I should offer any money if she needs it or not? I was just going to send a simple response like:
"Sure. I will go ahead and get the names switched and pay directly instead of giving you the monthly checks. Thanks."
or even shorter like "will do."
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Would she really word it like that if she didn't have the money- be that polite and revealing about it? I would keep it very short. Maybe even imply that that's what you were wanting to do anyway. But "will do" is good, too.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
maybe I'm over thinking this but yeah it's not that straight forward from my view.