GH :I can't help but feel like I am over-reacting to a certain extent. I know all about EA's but I also know that there are plenty of people who have friends of the opposite sex. I am trying to rectify the fact that I actually DO trust my wife to a certain extent. I believe her when she says nothing is going on but what I don't believe is that there will never be something going on. Do I just work on my issues and for lack of better word "trust" her for now? I want so much to do that but it's really hard.
It's a tricky situation. Seems you both need to negotiate something that makes everyone happy or you will drive her further away by doing things she perceives as controlling.
Can you spend more time with adults together in groups as a couple and regular schedule more of a shared social life?
Can you go on more dates alone together?
Seems her wanting a separate social life is reasonable if you also both maintain a shared one.
You're not going to KEEP her from having an affair by fighting with her. Maybe if you started individual counseling to help you with your triggers and invited her in to one or two sessions at some point years later she would consider it. You could tell her you would like for her to come for her to help you on YOUR stuff maybe. I don't know. Just a suggestion. I would only bring it up once though and not let IT become an issue too.
Seems like you did a good job the first time to put the M back together but it's hard when you have lingering issues that W won't help with. Maybe there's a way to discuss these things with her in the future in a non-confrontational way so it doesn't lead to an explosion.
Seems like discussing it late at night when she gets home late after drinking is a recipe for disaster. Just make a rule against that and follow it.
