Not sure what to do

[saffie]

I would appreciate it if you could pass along what your husband does to keep the excitement going for you between sessions of ML?

I'll try, but it's very personal.

I have heard something similar to the "needs space" comment from my wife in the past. She has told me that at certain times, if she ignores me, it is not that she doesn't love me or value me, it is that at certain times she just needs space and time for herself to unwind and come down from everything that happened to her during the day.

I could have written this.

On top of this she has a work-day night-time ritual of reading in bed for half an hour to relax to the point she can go to sleep.

Yep, that's me. I let H but in if he wants - after all a book can be put down for a while and then picked up again. He initaites though.

Ok, this gets a bit TMI perhaps, but basically I have realised that although our R is fairly even control wise in every other sphere, as far as sex goes I like being submissive - therefore I don't initiate. My Poor H wasn't getting the green GO light therefore. I had fantasies, (that all involved my H), that I felt too inhibited to talk to him about - sex was little and very vanilla.

So, I decided to get my H to read a blog that contained certain concepts that I liked the idea of. He did that and decided that yep it would suit him.

The all being cuddled out by the kids thing meant I didn't really want much cuddling and foreplay but found I could be aroused quite easily.

What my H does now is ensure that every day there is some sort of intimate contact between us. We don't have to 'O' - infact I am better left 'on the edge' most of the time. It works for us.

The important part though was recognising a need and communicating about it. After directing him to the blog we then re read it together and discussed lots of things. Not all by any means in that blog fitted in with our needs.....but it got us to a point where we could dialogue openly.....and then practice, practice, practice

I am hoped that gradually my H's need to 'O' would increase over time but he is happy with it as it is and just loves his daily 'play time'.