In addition to instilling hope in yourself for reconciliation, maybe you could seek out the company of positive women who are divorced single mothers. Sure there are great and happy role models out there. You need to face this fear that you will be miserable if you wind up single awhile. It's giving H and reconciliation too much power. If he's going to stay unrealistic and unreflective and demanding, you could wind up miserable the rest of your life reconciled with him too. Too many factors are in play. Yes, if he wants to work on M is a factor. But also whether he is willing or able to work on his part that helped get you here. You're also still in the early, early bomb months, so cut yourself some slack at least until your sleep gets settled.
