You should always listen, but there's no need to jump thru his hoop and accept his first offer at a time. Right now, he's needing YOU to help HIM feel better about his poor choices, and that's simply not your responsibility.
So yeah, you can meet with him, maybe tomorrow or the next day. (Notice I said "appt." -- let him wonder what you're up to). But as soon as he starts lying to you, I'd put my hand up and say "Stop it. We both know you're lying to me right now, and it's incredibly disrespectful. If you do it again, I'm leaving."
If he tries to do the blame thing, say "I'm perfectly ready to face my 50% responsibility for any dysfunction in our marriage, but not while you're having an affair. End your affair, and we can address any and all issues, including mine."
