And shoes too! I love it when a man is wearing great shoes.
Only a woman would notice. Just like they said in Shawshank Redemption.
Quote:
Ok, so you are 'meh' on Obsession for Men. But I will say that is one that will attach my mouth to your neck... blush The only one on the list I know I don't care for is Polo, the original....overdone and dated IMO. Prob same with Obsession really, I just relate it to the hot guys in college... smile
A guy at work bathed in Obsession and it ruined it for me. But I know what you are saying. I can smell Giorgio by Giorgio Beverly Hills a half mile away. Dated and overworn, but still has a deep scent memory for me. But ultimately only smells good enough on some women to evoke that memory.
Ok.. So you back off and tell her you agree with the divorce and such... Good move...
You begin to leave her alone and she contacts you.
Only a few days after YOU agree with her about the divorce she suddenly tells you she "was going to ask you to dinner" but you were busy.
And now you are going to try and pull this off like "friends' while buying all new clothes, picking a great restaurant, wearing the cologne of the decade and on and on...
You can NOT try to go out with a woman you have KNOWN for a long time and try to act like it is just friends, and then be dressed to the nines and trying to smell like a GQ man..
She is going to see right through that. Confident men call it what it is.. A DATE. If not, then tell her you take a pass...
You need to make her work for this. You back off for a few days and she starts to come around and now you are heading for disaster. You already told her you AGREE with her decision. Let her see you meant it. IF.. And I mean IF she wants you back she WILL try again. Please don't be so easy. What you are doing IS working and now you are going to change what is working? Doesn't make sense.
Ok.. So you back off and tell her you agree with the divorce and such... Good move...
You begin to leave her alone and she contacts you.
Only a few days after YOU agree with her about the divorce she suddenly tells you she "was going to ask you to dinner" but you were busy.
And now you are going to try and pull this off like "friends' while buying all new clothes, picking a great restaurant, wearing the cologne of the decade and on and on...
You can NOT try to go out with a woman you have KNOWN for a long time and try to act like it is just friends, and then be dressed to the nines and trying to smell like a GQ man..
She is going to see right through that. Confident men call it what it is.. A DATE. If not, then tell her you take a pass...
You need to make her work for this. You back off for a few days and she starts to come around and now you are heading for disaster. You already told her you AGREE with her decision. Let her see you meant it. IF.. And I mean IF she wants you back she WILL try again. Please don't be so easy. What you are doing IS working and now you are going to change what is working? Doesn't make sense.
This is exactly what I have been waiting for. Every nebulous thought on why I should avoid this dinner laid out precisely. I can't go on a date with someone I have known for years and just pretend it is all friendship, hugs, and kisses. The plan is working. Stick to the plan. If I'm going to do the date thing, I'll actually take someone who I have no history with and it will *be* a date. It's way too early. I invite discussion.
You avoid this dinner because what you are doing IS working.
She is the one who brought it up after you agreed right?
That means keep agreeing with what she said she wanted. A divorce.....
Why? Because it is working. Not only that, but she also told you she was getting the rest of her stuff in the same sentence that she said she was going to ask you out. Don't miss that part of the conversation.
You may be getting tested here to see if you really meant what you said. The best way to show her you meant it is to let her "feel" that it is now YOU that wants this too.
Don't worry. If she changes her mind and really wants you back she will let you know it. This was only a start. You are on the right path, but will get veered off if not careful here. Don't settle for crumbs.
gucci is right fergie, I believe the part about women testing men, it's a fact, and the part about not settling for crumbs is a rule to remember. I'll admit it, my advice on accepting her invite to dinner was wrong, I apologize.
What gucci is saying is right, stick with the plan agreeing with the divorce, thank her for the offer but just tell you think it's a bad idea or your busy or something like that.
I think I probably know you the best here, in a short time. You have admitted hard times in all of this, but you are a breath of fresh air, joy and always willing to put thought in and help.
I can tell you, you appear to be doing almost "too good". You jumped on board here, and executed, immediately, without much question, and barreled on. Amazing.
That's why I wasn't a huge fan of you going to dinner w/her just yet.
You're bound to be either triggered or set back a bit if you spend that amount and kind of time w/her this soon. But, I DO like the idea of doing it, sometime soon, just not yet. You have a lot of new to rock! Right?
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Just like they said in Shawshank Redemption.