Hello Trusting, I was reading your post on Upside's thread about what your husband is doing...it is amazing what you see them do, and connect it with something they said to you in the past.
It's kinda like Deja vu in a sense, but you're looking at it from your husband's side of it. I sensed a detached point of view, a clearer view from standing on the outside.
From reading your take and description, based on what he'd told you....I believe you're right that he's "recreating" a time from childhood to live that part out again in a desperate attempt to "recapture" something he THINKS he's missed, or lost.
It's like what Snodderly said about them regressing to another time in their lives and reliving that part to heal unhealed wounds. Or get something back they feel they have lost or missed out on. So, they think within themselves...never mind that fact that you can NEVER get that time back, ever again, no matter HOW many times you go back and try to "relive" it.
That IS true, there is pain within them from those wounds that were made so long ago, and they have some kind of a need to re-experience that event again to "live it out" in some kind of replay, trying to get a different result, and most of the time failing miserably...which is what replay is, a going back over the same ground once again.
Don't know if my thoughts on it will make sense to you, but I think it does, based on where you are now in your journey.
Something I think you've already figured out; your ex-husband has LOST more than you have...he's lost YOU...OW couldn't even come CLOSE to being the kind of person you've become...you're MUCH better than she is, and don't you ever let go of that.
You've gained so much knowledge, wisdom and understanding in your journey; and a TRUE sense of self.
You're doing well.
Just thinking some thoughts, based on your post.
Hope all is going well with you, Trusting.
Happy belated Easter to you, too, may God bless all of you and your family richly.
Much love, HB
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
