Thanks, LFW. Thank you for you concern about my detachment. I guess I have been seeking answers more than sharing what I have been doing for myself. Maybe it's the phase I'm in right now ... it's only been a few months, and everything has been such a whirlwind I swear if I haven't been so anchored in the protection of my kids, I'm not sure where I'd be right now.
As far as MLC vs WAW, I did read up on WAW and you are right, you could put my sitch in a picture next to a Merriam Webster definition of MLC; but not everything added up and as I started looking at MLC, I saw my W's face in the same definition of MLC.
Her childhood was one of abandonment ... her father ran off with her mother's best friend and never came back into her life until she and I met 15 years ago. Her mother had gone into a deep depression and was in bed most of the time unable to function. My W was my daughter's age, 9, on the phone with her Grandmother asking her how to boil a pot of hot water so she can make macaroni and cheese for her and her brother. Her Grandmother was her best friend and it was tough on her when she passed away a few years ago. I think her Grandmother's passing triggered a lot of this. She had two best friends the last 15 years ... her Grandmother and me. She has not fully grieved the loss.
As far as more MLC symptoms, she has been trying to re-capture her youth through diet and plastic surgery; working on changing careers; phrases like "I'm unhappy with everything in my life."
I'm not sure which forum works best to address this or where I should be to identify with what she is going through. I have found the most support here at the MLC forum, so I've been posting more here lately.
As far as me. Yes, I have been trying to move on; but detachment is not the word I'd use to describe where I am right now. I have started working on my MBA; have re-engaged in prison ministry--a ministry that I had put aside due to the time commitment and the belief on my part that I needed to put some things aside that distracted from my time in saving my marriage and family. I have also finally settled on an apartment so I can move out of the room I am living in at a relative's and get closer physically to my children so that they can start living with me part time and I can at least establish a family of 3 so that their Dad is their parent--and not a weekend guy to hang out with.
I am plugging on, but my heart is not entirely there. The "detachment" part is foreign to me. How do I detach from someone I still love so much despite what has happened ... and despite my inability to comprehend and categorize what is happening and what she is doing to our relationship and our family...
