Both of those things kind of slipped out and I haven't acknowledged that he said them. He doesn't divulge things easily but I figure that if he meant them, he'll show me. The day I got back from the trip where I found out about the PA he finally took care of a big project for me (a bunch of files from his computer that he said he'd give me) that he's been putting off for months, and he's jumped on a couple other things. We've gotten along well after I got over the initial anger stage, but he's gone above and beyond since this latest D-Day.
OK, well the projects are just expressed guilt.. nothing new there.
He's gonig to talk up a storm... I don't pay that much mind.. its what he's doing that concerns me.
You push for divorce, and he doens't want to rush.. what do I hear?
I don't want to rush into divorce = I want to take my time enjoying this woman before I decide to come back or not.
Do NOT tolerate that.
This is your mantra :
I REFUSE to be your SAFETY NET while YOU go COMPARISON SHOPPING on my marriage.
He wants to play the two party game and drag this out :
Don't let him.
Confront him with a good confrontation script asap and get him into a professoinal Couples Therapist who handles infidelity well (as an addiction and NO contact is a must before any other work starts)
If you let him play the slow motion game you are just going to get ILL while he has fun at your expense.. don't allow it.
Just tell him out right...
"Don't rush into divorce? Ya right.. you want to have as much fun as you can while I feel like a used piece of crap for as long as YOU FEEL LIKE? I don't think so."
"I HATE what you are doing to our SON. I HATE what you are doing to our MARRIAGE - But I love our son enough to give you a chance here - END this NOW - or things are going to get very unpleasant for all THREE of us in this family.... I am willing to see a family therapist with you, but this is NOT a four-person family... you talk to a professional about your marriage problems NOT to that woman... she is NOT helping you.. she's attacking YOUR SON's family."
Hit him with something like that... the longer he drags this out the worse you are going to feel emotionally and physically.. its early yet so you don't have the anxiety, back pain, insomnia, depression, etc.. it will kick in after the six month point most likely.
