It has been a bit of a roller coaster weekend but at least it is ending more positive than negative.
H showed me some questionable text msg he received on his new cell. He just got a new phone # and says once in awhile he gets some strange msgs. I am glad he let me know as if I had looked thru his phone, I would have got the wrong idea.
And I am finally starting to learn to bring up anything questionable to discuss rather than letting it fester. Last week H was talking about a online dating site with a buddy on the phone and his comments just made my anxiety shoot through the roof. I brought up that I overheard some things and he had a good explanation that eased my anxiety.
Intimacy in the bedroom is slowing returning, H and I ML and I hate that each time so far I get fleeting thoughts of him being with OW but luckily I can push those thoughts out of my mind fairly quickly and concentrate on task at hand. It is a bit of mood killer but I guess eventually it won't happen as much.
One thing (or maybe 2 or 3) things that bother me are...
1. H does not wear his wedding band. When we first married, H would not take it off, he was so proud to wear it. Now, he won't put it on. I brought it up the other day and he said he would wear it if I wanted him to but I have not seen it on yet.
2. I wish H would have taken the initiative to read my copy of ATA or another book about infidelity to understand my feelings/what I am going through.
On a good note that I am really excited about... I think I might have persuaded H to go away on a little NYC getaway for the 2 of us in June!!! I really miss traveling and H is such a home body. Anyway, I had stashed some money away 2 years ago when I quit my job for us to celebrate our 40th birthdays ( I knew we would never save the $$) so he does not really have any excuse. I wanted to go to Europe for a week but I can settle for NYC. A long weekend without kids, time alone with H and getting to see a new place. I get so excited about planning a holiday.
