Dear DB friends, please please tell me what you make of this
1) I asked him how lunch was, but not who lunch was with, and he didn't say. I'm sure it was a girl.
2) We met up, along with D, to get her a new computer, he bought her one just like that.
3) Then he wanted to go to his place, but I was nervous, and he started getting frustrated. I did not validate all his new life choices (because I hate that he has a place to create a new life for himself) and he didn't like that. By an hour later I had not joyfully reunited with him and he was getting angry. Next 2 hours he spoke almost totally through our D (D, tell your Mom; D, look at this; D, what do you think of... and so on).
4) In the end we did talk more, he says he wants to date with an eye towards reconciling. He also said that once he finished decorating his apartment he had the landlord over who now wants to sell it (shows nice, lol) so I guess he's feeling like he's going to have to start all over again finding a new place to live, decorating it to suit, etc etc.
5) Said lots of girls want to date him, but it is just not meaningful, they just want him for his money/position/car (that sort of idea anyways). It's not a meaningful life. All I can think of is, how many girls was he with? How do you forgive not just one PA with an OW, but multiple multiple PAs with girls 10-15 years younger? If someone could open the door to doing that now, what's to stop them from doing it whenever they want? I know he considers himself "single" right now, so that justifies it, but can you really just have a "time-out" in the middle of a marriage and consider it OK? I sure bet he wouldn't be here today if I had "timed-out" to be with multiple OM, yikes! What makes him think that is OK???
6) I fear that he just wants to string me along for 2-3 years now, which will neutralize my support/custoday/alimony situation and leave me virtually on my own to support myself for the next 20 years while he goes on to be rich (hard to explain).
7) On the other hand, talking to him feels like talking to my H, and we have a lot in common, and a lot of history, and he is asking to be with me now, and if I don't try then it really will be over.
8) He still has a fair bit of the MLC going on, he is quick to anger, sees things mostly his way, and feels like he should not be tasked to do any childcare or go anywhere that doesn't agree with his new outlook on life. I also have some trouble seeing him give up the allure of his city, in which he does quite well, to live with us elsewhere for a long time.
9) On the other hand, I did read somewhere that the vast majority of marriages that were headed to divorce but didn't go there, they tend to be pretty happy in 5 years time (assuming you can get there, yikes!).
