I'm struggling with this precisely because we are in this mess because I didn't express my emotions.
I have another idea.
I can send the email (I should do it tonight) about dividing up stuff. Just business.
Then, one more piece of disentangling: we signed up as domestic partners thru my workplace twenty years ago. I picked up the form in September, to see what it said about dissolving DP. I should have had both of us sign it and send it in within 30 days.
Well, I certainly wasn't capable of that at that time.
So, what if I send the business email tonight. And send the dissolving DP form with the note about being sorry about all this. So the two things are separate.
I don't think I will get a blast of hate, this is all your fault, blah blah. I expect silence. When I wrote out my heart to him in the first days post-bomb (on the advise of therapists) I had to ASK if he had read it. He responded: "yes, thank you for the thoughts." So, just a non-committal, gee that's great you feel that way, too bad for you answer. I would expect to get that or nothing, most likely nothing. Especially if I preface it with: I don't expect a reply; this is for me.
Spending WAYY too much time thinking about him/her. Having found out that she is still not working (from his mom) I then went into thoughts of him signing her up for health care coverage thru his work. Bigamous in a way, no? As my workplace still thinks we are together!
I got him off all beneficiary things, so in no way is my workplace responsible if he falls under a truck, so legally I think I am OK, though legally I should have submitted the dissolution of DP status months ago.
So--what's your feedback? A business like email; a letter with the DP form saying some heart stuff.
I have been a crying mess the past week anyhow--wow, this is another stage of grief, hitting me like a brick fricking wall--how much worse can it get?
I SO appreciate your caution about opening myself up to hurt.
