I have to remind myself how hope and hopelessness affect me.
Hoplessness affects us all the same way. It causes depression. See,
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Today I can say that I am feeling depressed.
My favorite book on this is "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. Real life changer for me.
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I also have a sense of dread, feeling that I am a sitting duck for whatever bomb H drops next, whether it's OW, or his GAL plans, or D proceedings. I need to get in charge of my life.
You can't control what he does, only how you react to it. So, focus on what you can control.
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As usual, I am incredibly unenthusiastic about GAL plans. Must think of something.
No, you need to DO something. Anything to occupy your mind. And get your feet moving.
And, by the way, this is the hoplessness talking. It's understandable, but that's what HAS to change. Everything else will follow suit.
We probably all felt hopeless at a time in our situations - I did. But, what you have to face is the worst case scenario. What if the worst happened (it harldy ever does)? You still have your kids. You still have your whole life ahead of you. So many things to experience and learn.
If you can face your worst case scenario, then realize it is NOT the end of the world, then there is nothing left to fear. Then you start living your life b/c the eventual result of your M (over which you have no control) does not scare you any more. Doesn't mean it won't hurt, but it doesn't cower you.
On the hopelessness issue, why do you feel that way? I mean, the core of why you feel hopeless? Is it a rational fear/thought causing you to feel hopeless (they usually aren't)? If it isn't, then change your thought to a reasonable one (I may end up D'd, but I still have a lot in my life and many new things out there to discover and experience).
Once you change your thoughts, your emotions will follow. Thought follows emotion. Not the other way around.
