Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Thanks Ken and James. I'm trying. Whenever I have times of feeling down, I make myself get up and do something...take the dogs for a walk, take a drive, something.

So I emailed W back today about carpet cleaning. I said that I would try to contact them. She replied quickly (she must be checking her email regularly) and said to let her know if I got in touch with them. She went on to say that she scheduled the house cleaners to come in later this week. I have told her on numerous occasions that I do not want to pay for a cleaning company to clean with house. I do not want our joint money to pay for this service as I think she should clean since I have done all of the other work on the house. She's not listening to me and it's disrespectful. She complains that I don't listen to her...well it's a two way street.

She goes on to say that she wants to get the house cleaned this week so we can put it for sale this weekend. Tells me everything the cleaners will do to clean the house. In our last conversation I told her that I would let her know when I finished the work on the house before we put it for sale. I told her that I would let her know. So in her last email today she asked me if she should call the realtor and have them prepare the listing agreement to put the house for sale this weekend. She asked me if I was ok with the price we had previously discussed. Explains to me why she feels it's a good price, etc. It's a price that we did both seem to agree on previously. So it's not like she wants to put a low ball price on the house to sell it immediately and be done. She agrees with the higher price which means the house could be on the market for a while.

She ended the email by saying she would come over this week and plant some flowers around the house. She asked if the gardening tools are still at the house. She also said she would plant more annual flowers after the frost season is over if the house is still on the market.

Couple things. I do not want to pay for a house cleaner after I told her several times I do not want to pay for it with our joint money. I'd rather clean the house myself. Why not? I'm doing the rest of the house work anyway. I told her that I would contact her when I have the house work completed and it was ready to sell. She is clearly trying to push me on these issues. She did ask my opinion on a few issues. Don't know if that is just her being nice to try to get what she wants from me or if it's something more, something positive? I also will not go back to emailing each other about everything. I have told her before no more emails...face to face conversations or phone calls. Quick emails about setting up a time for us to talk are fine but I refuse to get into discussions with her via email anymore.

So here's my plan. I am thinking of emailing her back just to tell her that I called the carpet cleaner and he will call her to schedule the cleaning. Then I will tell her that we need to talk by phone to discuss the other items in her email. When she calls I will tell her that I do not want the house cleaners coming and that I am still not finished with the house work. She will probably be aggravated when I tell her this and think I am stalling. I will validate, say i understand if she feels this way but I am doing the best I can. I will tell her that my work schedule is very busy (and it is) and that I cannot give her a specific date when I will be finished with the house work but will let her know.

I don't want to give in here. These are things that I clearly told her that I would or would not do. She is trying to see if she can get her way. I feel that I cannot give in. This would make me weak, not a good thing. I'm not trying to stick it to her but I feel that I need to stand my ground. It goes back to my whole thinking of selling the house or not that I talked about in a previous post. I still haven't made that decision. I probably won't have a decision for a couple of weeks. Anyway, that's sort of my plan to respond to my W today. I would also tell her that tonight would not be a good night to talk as I have to work at my second job (real estate job) late tonight.

Hmmm...

Sandi, what to do here? I don't know if she is testing me to see if I will finally agree to sell the house. Don't know if she is thinking that if I don't agree to sell the house that I haven't changed and I'm not putting her first? I wonder if I agree to sell the house if she will then open up and be more receptive to working on the M? I just don't know? Otherwise, I would like to try to keep the house. I think to myself that if I can afford to keep the house on my own, what more could show her that I am being a strong man that wants to take care of things on his own?

Reminds me of the song "Signs". This verse...

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs
Blockin' up the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

Boy does that line speak the truth for me. Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign...amen to that!

I'd like to at least respond to her email today. I don't want to play games with her. She is finally starting to contact me a bit more regularly and is being respectful to respond to me in a timely fashion. I want to do the same for her.

Sandi, if you get a chance can you let me know what you think? I've posted a few updates on my sitch too if you get time to read them. Thank you.