Last wednesday I sent an e-mail to my W plainly stating that I decided to take care of my summer child care needs with the teenage girl I made arrangements with. I didn't ask her anything, just said I'm satisfied the kids will be safe and happy in the girl's care.
Afterwards, no response and no contact from my W in five days. I had a little anxiety over it, but I'm getting used to her reactions. Her problems, not mine.
During our child transition yesterday I didn't look at or speak to her. No "Happy Easter!", no nothing. Kids came running up and gave me hugs. She told me "If the kids miss me and want to talk to me, call me no matter how late." I responded with a simple "ok", without looking at her, and continued doding on the girls. She got in her car and drove away.
Last night she called to talk to the kids, and she tried twice to get me on the phone. My son held the phone out and said "Mommy wants to ask you if D5 is asleep." I replied to my son without taking the phone, "She is asleep, I just left her." My son pulled the phone back and said "Daddy says she's asleep." Then after a little more conversation my son held out the phone again and said "Mommy wants to talk to you." I took the phone this time and said hello. She had a request for me to put a note in D6's backpack regarding her doctor's appt tomorrow. Something that could have easily been handled via text or e-mail. I just said "ok" in response, then silence. She sounded defeated, and said "Well... ok... have a nice night..." I replied "You too" and hung up. I am so determined to give her nothing I was kicking myself for even saying "You too".
This has been very interesting. In the entire time of our M, whenever I tried to hold my ground, she would have a temper tantrum, and I'd feel like I did some horrible thing and give in. Seeing her respond to me with submission and respect now is almost surreal. The fact that she's doing so tells me that all those temper tantrums in the past were manipulation, pure and simple.
