New Year brings exciting news

[ACJ]

Having a tough day today. S17 had another alcohol induced crying session sat on my bed at 4am this morning. I don't want to go into why it's a bad idea for him to drink, he knows I disapprove.

I asked him to come into my room when he finally came home because I wanted him to know that I'm done in so far as trying to incentivise him into doing something with his life. I also told him that from this week, due his lack of respect for my rules and boundaries, I am going to 'charge' him £10 a week in board. It doesn't sound much but he needs to know I'm not going to be a pushover and that he has to take responsibility for his actions.

We talked about respect for a while. I only intended it being a short talk at taht time in the morning but we ended up talking for 3.5hrs. From out of nowhere he burst out crying and proceeded to tell me how much he misses his baby sister. That was hard to hear given that she isn't my child but I listened to him. What he said next disturbed me the most. He said he wanted to take her away to prevent her from getting hurt when she was older like he and his other sisters had been hurt. Anyone listening in who didn't know he was talking about a baby sister would have thought he was talking about his own child. It was scary.

I acknowleged and applauded his will to want to protect his sibling and was honset with him back by telling him that the only reason I had given up on my marriage was because I too didn't want another life destroyed by the mess XH has created. That really upset him because he truly thought I hated the baby. How could I, she is an innocent victim in all of this. He did however understand how much of a sacrifice that had been and how much it had (and still does) hurt.

He is so hurt that in the best part of a month his dad has not phoned him once to even ask how he is. He said (and these are his own words) 'that when his dad finally grows some balls back and realises hwat a mess he has caused he will be there to tell him truthfully how much XH has hurt him (S17)' I had the horrible task of telling him that that day may never come. That the man we all knew and loved may have gone forever. It broke my heart.

It's coming up to 4.5yrs since all this mess started and still XH cannot stop hurting us all. I wish I knew why.