how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

he IS lost, and it's hard to heal from that, thinking that we could have saved our M or at least tried...

i know that my life will continue and develop, but it's so hard to picture it now without him in it. i promised him forever, and it's all crashing down around me and there's not much i can do to put the pieces together again. i'm willing to try, but he's not there...and i can't force him into it, either.

i keep dreaming that he'll snap out of it and see what he'll be missing if we move forward towards D, but with every day that passes that we don't talk or have contact in some way, i feel like it's another brick he puts in the wall between us. i do pray, constantly, that i have the strength to get through this, that i can deal with this with grace and compassion, and that my H will know he is loved and open his heart to me.

i feel very lost. not in the same sense i think he's lost, but...lost just the same.