went with h to what he called easter egg hunt. we drove seperately since he had to work in the afternoon. what was supposed to be or i thought was supposed to be an egg hunt was a family party at the park.
he did not provide the details before we left. it was all his family members, some of which i have not seen for 6 months to a year. very never racking at first.
day went fairly well, h took off early for work i ended upstaying for little while longer, d would not leave she wanted to stay to play and i was talking to sil.
she's known h much longer than i and we have similiar backgrounds. she's white, i'm white, both married hispanic men from same family, we both were raised with simmiliar values.
i asked her if my h has always been emotionally unavailable, she oh yeah the whole family of the men are. great! like it was a shock, but i wanted to see if the children raised by same parents taught their kidos this or was it just my h. she also was telling me they are all sneaky, that h's parents and brother's confronted h about what he was not doing, meaning just sitting around doing nothing, so much that h's brother got him a job, under the table of course.
i left with kids and my head was spinning all the way home. so much that i have not contacted or sent msg to h since he left the park.
im not really sure what i am going to do. i'm kind of numb. the not sure of what i'm going to do is not an oh my goodness, it's more of looking at the long term of do i have it in me to stick it out with this guy with both kids and hope that he will change, with major help, or just to cut the loses and divorce.
i've been battling this for a good chunk of time but at this time more of decision in my mind not my heart. i'm feeling very emotionally detached at this moment. i've noticed it fluctuates.
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
