Are regrets when you end a separation normal?

[june72]

I am thinking you are having these mixed feelings because a D would be easier for you. You would not have to do any work on yourself.


OTMT, if someone tells you that they feel a certain way, please believe them. Please do not minimize their feelings.It minimizes them as a person. If someone feels that their pain feels like being stabbed with knifes- please, for the love of God, believe them. How would you feel if someone minimized the way you feel?

I can not understand what oyu are saying about wanting to go to porn to test her? Time bomb? I really do not understand what you are saying here.


IMPORTANT!!!!
You wife is in an extremely fragile state. Learning of this porn addiction and the upset of the past few months has really affected her. Please take this very seriously. You must immediately talk to her further about her thoughts of suicide. Do not disregard this.
1. You must ask her if she has a plan (I know that when I was a nurse I was thought this an important thing to ask b/c it shows how serious a person is in their intent. If a person does not have a plan of suicide then they are not as serious).
2. You really need to call her IC or a crisis hotline concerning this. Possibly her primary doctor, maybe an emergency psych center at a hospital. You are NOT trained to know her emotional state and how serious she is about suicide. She needs to be evaluated by someone with training and experience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. Please remove all unnecessary pills, razors, alcohol, guns, etc. from the house (I would worry that in a moment or rash impulse she could make a poor decision)
4. Please watch her constantly and try not to give her any alone time, it would be best if you could have a family member stay over at your house or better have one of her family members fly in and stay at the house.
5. Please FOCUS on your wife and not yourself these next few days. She needs that. She needs you to be supportive, understanding and loving to her. She needs you to watch over and protect her from harming herself.


I can't state enough over and over again-please page her IC and discuss your concerns about your wife. She may need some emergency hospitalization. She may be having a breakdown here. It's important you take this SERIOUSLY.


Also, please- no porn- you are going to figuratively "kill" your wife here. Do not makes things worse for here. Turn off the d@mn internet for a while. Confide in someone that will hold you responsible for you actions.


Please call a friend, family member, clergyman, someone. I don't think you are equipped to handle your wife's emotional state.